You feel frustrated. You are not happy with the way things are going but you don't know how else they could go. You are most likely doing all the things you think you are supposed to be doing and yet you aren't getting anywhere. You're in a rut. You know that it's not right but you have no idea how to fix it and honestly the mere thought is exasperating. So you shove it down and you tell yourself it's just you and you keep mustering on... things will get better... you'll just wait it out. And maybe they do, and maybe they don't... but either way it is just a matter of time before these issues resurface.
What's happening? Your actions are not creating the results you want or possibly feel you deserve. The answer? When your approach is not getting the results you want; change your approach! Recognize that change is ALWAYS within your power! I know... I know... easier said than done... And honestly a lot of differenct circumstances could be causing this experience. So let's look at how to figure out what's causing yours.
Make a list of the things that are important to you. And put them in order of priority. Determine what the top three things are that you need in your life right now. Put no limitations on it. Make those wishes! Dream those dreams! Sometimes, the main thing keeping us from improving our situation, is that we haven't taken the time to consider what alternate situation we'd prefer. It is the tendency of the human brain to focus on what we DON'T want... all the things that are making us miserable right now. Let's turn that around! The negatives are temporary once you can find the positives to move toward. If anything is possible, what are the top three things that you need to feel content? To feel like you "are somewhere"? Be as specific as possible.
Imagine your life with these three things incorporated. Maybe it's a certain freedom or a certain salary... maybe it's a feeling... maybe it's a talent you haven't been using lately... maybe it's being around for certain things... maybe it's time for something... or involvement in something... improving a relationship... it can be anything!! Imagine a day in your life where you have those three things on your list. Imagine how it would be different.... What would you do? How would you feel? What does a day look like when these things are present? Really let yourself see it and feel it. Visualize it! Embrace it! Allow yourself to feel the difference and accept the benefits. I'll tell you a secret, our brains do not know the difference between something that we clearly imagine and something that is currently happening. If you can actively and fully imagine that situation, you can presently feel the reality of it. Solidify the goal by accepting that vision as accomplished, and set yourself in motion.
Now, you work backward. You are now operating from a place of BEING THERE -- a place of accomplishment, where anything is possible! It is easier to find external circumstances or opportunities that resonate with your new internal state. Consider what you might have done to get those things that you wanted. Depending on what the things are, it might be a lot or it could be a little. It doesn't matter, just go with it. Did you get a new job? A new degree? A promotion? Did you improve a specific relationship in your life? Maybe go to the gym? Make time for your passion? Did you give up your nightly TV show so you could make time to build that... whatever. Did you have that conversation? Did you forgive? Did you make that appointment or go for that test? Come up with some things it would take to achieve those desired results. Make a list of steps to be taken. Don't worry, you don't have to do them all right now...
Now, look at the list of ways to facilitate those things that you want. Consider what you'd have to put in to making this happen... how long it would take, how much effort, how much investment... anything you would have to give up in order to make this happen. If the end result is not worth the effort put into it to you, make some adjusments or consider another route. There is always more than one map to any destination. Consider what you are willing and ready to do. One of the main reasons people do not accomplish their goals, is that they did not realistically consider what it would take. There is always going to be some work... make sure it is work that you are ready and willling to do... make sure you can accept that that work is worth the end goal. If you decide this now, you will be more likely to attain it. Pick the ONE route that you are ready and willing to commit to right NOW! Be realistic about it. You have to be ready to put the work into it. You don't have to do it all at once.
Narrow it down. Pick ONE action you can take right now with the resources you currently have available to you to move toward the first step. It doesn't matter how big or small. Whatever you feel ready to do! Make yourself a time table. Write it on the calendar, put it on your phone, whatever. Decide now when you are going to finish that first action by. Decide also when you aim to finish the list by! You can set each new step or action as you go. But always keep a record! Hold yourself accountable! I guarantee you each step will get easier and bring you more momentum!
I realize none of this is magic. Change is ultimately a committed choice! Decide what you want. Figure out what immediate action you can take to move toward it. Start that ball rolling! Once you see the power of your own choice and commitment, you will be UNSTOPPABLE! Remember this is ultimately just another choice... If you've been flexing that choice muscle, you're ready for it!