Do you ever try to look at your life and try to find a common thread? Something to tie it all together? Because if it were a novel or a movie it would have some kind of underlying theme that moved the story line, right? This is what I have been looking for lately. I am a woman of many passions and many whims. My story does not follow a straight line. And in my weaving and meandering I have discovered several lessons all of which contribute to who I am. There is not one summation... there can't be... can there?
In the purpose of developing an effective marketing plan and finding the right clients to benefit from my services I have been told that I need to identify what is the main message that I want to share right now. Every time I try to do this, something inside me screams a little. I do not want to limit myself. I do not want to be confined by my own definitions. This is after all, one of the many messages I share. There are no definitions... no boundaries or lines... there are no limits... it is perception that creates this separation. It is perception that keeps us confined. Why would I want to raise more walls? I don't, and I've decided that I am not going to. There is no one particular problem I am here to address or one particular group of people I am here to help with it. There is no single message I am here to share. I am here to help any and everyone who seeks my help to discover their own messages. Perhaps what I should be focusing on is not which message, or how to combine them, but how to share them most joyfully and most freely, without worrying about any definition or marketing plan.
It's hard to meld differing experiences like grief and addiction and depression and self-esteem and chronic illness and the lessons learned from them all into one cohesive message, but I did come across three things that seem to be inextricably linked in my own experience: self-esteem, strong bonds, and emotional stress. There seems to be a vicious cycle in which self-doubt inhibits full expression which in turn weakens the ability to form strong bonds (how can you feel seen and accepted when you aren't expressing yourself?) which in turn leads to a sense of isolation and a lowered resilience to emotional duress which in turn leads to a sense of overwhelm and a belief that one does not have enough to handle the situation at hand which in turn lowers self-esteem even further and often times involves ineffective and self-sabotaging coping skills. This is the cycle that I broke in my own life. Your cycle may be different. I can say with confidence that we all have a cycle from which we must break in order to achieve happiness. Many of us probably have more than one. Whatever those cycles entail, you can break free from them.
But first, you have to be willing to look within. I do not think that we have to identify beyond a doubt what cycle we are breaking in order to break it. I do think that we have to get to know ourselves a little. Breaking any cycle requires releasing the tendency to overidentify with it. It takes the ability to step back and say this is not a part of me... it does not define me... it is not who I am.
If you want to really begin to transform your life, perhaps start by beginning to recognize all that you are and all that you are not. Seriously, sit down take a pen and paper and begin listing out all of the things that you think you are. Then put it aside for a bit. Take a few deep breaths and come back to it with fresh eyes. How many of the things you listed are temporary? How many are roles? How many are physical traits or characteristics? How many are accomplishments? Diseases? Emotions? Mindsets? Struggles? None of these things are who you are. None of these things can define you. You are the being that moves through all of them! You are infinite and without bounds! Don't get stuck in any of them. Allow yourself to move through and accept the vastness of your own BEing. You are so much more than any of this. Feel that. Embrace it. And as you do you will begin to discover more of the beauty that you are and ways to bring it forth into the world. And I guarantee you that cycle you've been stuck in, will not be a part of it.
And no, this is not my main message, but it is my thought for today. Break the cycle. Free the bloom.