Do you ever feel like you are pushing too hard? Giving it your all and getting nothing in return? Are you waiting quietly for some kind of magic payoff to come along? Not a pat on the back, you don't need that. You need actual concrete validation for all of the effort you are putting in! You need to be SEEN (in a deeper way than a random acknowledgement).

I hear you. Trust me, kitchen work has definitely driven this home for me LOL. It seems like, because there is SO much to be done, everyone in a kitchen always feels like they are doing it ALL. Add my perfectionist tendencies and broad perspective on top of this and I am constantly taking it ALL on! Often times, some are doing MORE than the rest, but it doesn't change the fact that everyone is doing as much as they CAN with the information they have.

Sometimes, work is unfairly distributed. Most often, when this occurs it is because the PRIORITIES have not been clearly communicated to all members of the team. Everyone needs to be on the same page! Maybe the person whom you assume has done nothing has spent the entire day doing something that you don't even notice was done because it's not the top thing on your list! It doesn't mean they did nothing. It simply means you need to ask and understand where other people's time is being spent. Then work together to come up with a more effective plan of action for both of you! Equally as important is to actually be clear about the expectations. Don't assume them. Are you taking things on because you THINK you have to? Or because it is part of the responsibilities you have committed to? Is there anyone else who could help you?

Often, we feel like we are doing EVERYTHING, because we've been picking up everything that we see and we haven't been willing to ask for help. Have you been honest with your own self-expectations? Do you know what within reason you are capable of getting done? Can you ask for help when it's needed without feeling bad about the need? We all need help sometimes. Would you give someone else help if they asked for it? Work piles up, unexpected demands appear, and we are all human. Be willing to ask for the help you need! If the help is not available or not given, do not hold that against yourself. If you have been clear about what you need to get something done, and that help is not offered, it is not on you if that goal cannot be met. You can give it your best shot, but do not penalize yourself for a shortcoming that you honestly sought to resolve. This is true in family and in work.

Putting forth maximum effort is a big thing in Western Culture. We tend to all be running around juggling 50 million things at once and trying to be the BEST at all of them. Are you aware that in Traditional Chinese Medicine it is stated that human beings should only be putting 60% of their full effort into anything they do in order to maintain balance and have enough energy to sustain their efforts across the board? Our lives are multidimensional! There are a lot of parts to balance! In order to maintain sustained effort in all areas of life, we must preserve enough effort to give! How much effort are you putting in? And why? Are you judging your worth through your results? Through the DOing? And is this something you can adjust?

Take a moment to be still. Make some space. Take a deep breath and open your heart. You are beautiful. You are magical. You are ENOUGH. Right here, right now, without lifting a finger. Does that mean you should never do anything? No, that would be kind of boring! It does mean, however, that it doesn't matter how much of the list you check off today. What is really important to you? How can you organize your efforts to reflect that? Know where you WANT to focus your energy. Don't let things that are not important to you, take energy from the things that are. Do what you can. Don't collapse at the end of the day feeling like you put it ALL out with nothing to show for it! Work hard, play hard, but know your boundaries! Take the time and space you need to regenerate yourself. Be willing to ask for help. Be willing to say, "This is what I can do. If you expect more than that, I will need help to get it done." Or, "I will just start with THIS and see how far I get."

Set the priorities and focus on what you CAN do one thing at a time! Some days you may surprise yourself. Some days you may fall short. Life is about balance. You are learning about yourself and you your strengths and your weaknesses every step of the way.

The magic payoff you are waiting for, the return that you are longing to cash in on, it comes from YOU. You must value your own self for the world to respond and see you as ALL THAT YOU ARE. If you are pushing too hard, it is up to you to ease off! The success you are working toward does not come from any amount of recognition or promotion or accomplishment or income. TRUE SUCCESS IS HAPPINESS that comes from balance! When you have the energy to engage with the things that you love and value, you will never again doubt that you are "getting back" all that you need! Know what is important to you and align your priorities and energy expenditure to match it, so that you are never too worn out by the things that matter least to enjoy the things that feed your soul.

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Author- Kimber Bowers

Loving Light Holistic Wellness


Kimber is a Certified Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master, and intuitive empath who uses her own experience navigating emotions and developing positive thought patterns to support others in discovering their own worthiness, developing a sense of connection, and embracing JOY in their lives. Through her own transformation, she has discovered the keys to living a joy-filled life and wants you to feel the same!  Discover the freedom to BE all that you are and embrace all life has to offer!  Connect with Kimber at www.lovinglighthw.com and join the FREE group The Joy Coalition for additional daily support! 

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