Life is about balance. No matter what we are talking about, there are always two sides of the spectrum. I've spent a lot of my life battling between one side or the other. The very definition of these sides creates obstacles to achieving balance. It becomes an Either, OR when in fact, both always exist. I have found that it is often better to acknowledge and embrace the existence of both.
Let's look at an accepted opposite: Fear and Love. When I define them this way it makes me feel that I must choose one or the other. I can't have both. So, when I am afraid, love is absent. This is far from the truth. When I am afraid, I feel that love is absent, because my brain classifies them as opposite experiences, meaning that on some level of my consciousness I do not think it is possible to have both. This perception blocks me from the experience of love. In truth, love is always available. It's not about NEVER being afraid. It's about acknowledging that love is still there, and stepping back into balance through that very recognition. It's about accepting, allowing, and balancing both.
Aside from such accepted opposites, our brain is always categorizing things and identifying opposing forces in our lives. We all have our own sets of opposites -- things that we do not think can exist in the presence of the other. When we do not believe it is possible, we do not allow it to happen.
For example, my brain categorizes family and success as polar opposites. Because of this, I stood still for several years believing that I could not have both. Success to me meant not having time for my family or putting business before my family. After acknowledging that I classify these things as opposites, I am now able to leave that Either, OR mindset and step into a more open Yes, AND. I am finding ways to share my business and my success with my family and I am making time for both. We must recognize what our classifications are making impossible, in order to shatter that ceiling and step into possibility.
What opposites have you defined? What limitations is this placing on you? Can you identify a place where you are holding yourself back out of a belief that its an Either, OR? Maybe it's something like money or time, happiness or responsibility, safety or adventure, passion or security, intuition or logic, doubt or wholeness.... It's funny, how these opposites affect us without us even realizing it. And we tend to want to villainize one or the other. One side is always considered "bad" as compared to the "goodness" of the other. Success and family both seem like good things but when I put them against each other, success becomes a "bad" choice because it undermines a core value in my life. I must rewrite my definition of success to include my family and reflect that value. What definitions can you rewrite? How can you embrace a Yes, AND?
No matter what your opposites are, there is no good or bad. Know that both exist continually regardless of where you are on the spectrum. Life is a continual search for balance... the best point on that bar to support your weight at the current time... and it requires being willing to step into a little of both. Be willing to shift sometimes recognizing that it is always within your power to adjust and open. Like in any argument, opposites can be integrated. A new perspective can be formed through which both sides can be honored and new possibilities are born!