My feet haphazardly strewn across the dash tapping intermittently to the beat of the radio, I let out a sigh and attempt to explain my plan... or lack thereof... There are so many things coming up and I thought I knew what I was doing when I dove into them... But sometimes, intentions get lost along the way... We shall see I suppose...
"Well, I thought I would teach you, so that there could be two of us," I say, attempting to justify the amount of money spent on an upcoming event that I would logically have to work two of to make back my investment on.
He looks at me sideways with an empty squint, returning his focus to the expansive road ahead. No comment.
I have no idea what he is thinking right now, other than perhaps that he has married a crazy person... who may single-handedly drive us into debt... But there are good people at this thing, and great connections, and good vibes, and we will enjoy it if we have time. And, you have to spend money to make money, right? More logic... more scraping to back it up...
"I have two chairs. You've already been attuned for Reiki. I was thinking I could teach you Toe Reading. And if we work together we should also have time to just explore and enjoy the event. I'm not worried about making MORE money, I just need to earn back the investment. We can do that in half the time with two of us. And different people may want to work with you than would work with me... " This is what happens when my logical side tries to defend the side that's just inspired to jump. Sometimes they line up... sometimes not so much. Sometimes I just have to let go and find it in myself to trust. I don't know exactly why I want to bring him into this. I just do. It feels right.
"Do we have enough time for that?"
"I'm not even sure I can do it..." I admit. "I mean, I was thinking that I could, but the more I think about it, I don't really know if it's something that can be taught... I have a book you can read. It's the book that I learned from... but I don't really carry that book in my head... I just do it. I don't know how I do it... I just do it."
"I think that's called intuition."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Well, I've never heard anyone say that you are wrong... Everyone always seems to respond to whatever you say."
"I know. But I don't know where it comes from... I don't think any of it is in that book."
And we drive on.
I think it comes from presence. From the willingness to be in the moment with another person and to see and accept them as they are... right there... right then. To see and accept that moment as it is. It comes from the recognition that we are connected. That we are one. And that we are one with a larger spiritual entity through which those messages come. It comes from a recognition that I am One with all that IS and an openness to let that Oneness flow through me. Why looking at toes allows me to get into that space so easily... I have no idea... But I suppose he is right, intuition is what it is.
Being in the business I am in, it's funny that I wouldn't have recognized that. I still don't really think of myself as intuitive most of the time. When we carry something so deep in ourselves it is sometimes hard to recognize it as a trait. It wasn't until about a year or two ago when a colleague said to me casually in conversation, "Well, you are one of the most intuitive people I know..." that I really began to think about what this meant and that I really began to recognize it within myself. "You follow your heart," she said, "you do what you feel." I listen to that spirit of Oneness. I let it guide me, even when I don't fully understand what it means. And I trust whatever comes, even if it isn't what I hoped for, to be as it needs to be. So if this is intuition, I suppose she was right. Reflecting on this, I set down my doubt.
I don't think this is an exclusive trait. And I don't think I am the only one to overlook it or take it for granted from time to time. And I don't think that it is confined to Toe Reading, or Card Reading, or any kind of divination... It is something we use everyday... It is available to us ALWAYS.
"You have that, too," I say to him. And I know he does. And I know you do. And I think this will be good for both of us. Maybe I need to trust the process. Maybe he needs to do that, too.
Are you willing to BE in it? Are you open to the flow? Where are you most in touch with it? Is it outside in nature? Is it listening to music? Or sitting close to a loved one? Or connecting? Or dancing? Or talking? Or writing? Or math-ing? Or creating whatever it is you like to create? Or looking at toes? And how can you recognize your own ability to get in touch with it when it seems distant? Is there something you can do, or visualize, or practice, to create that space and let it in? Maybe a walk? Maybe a breath? Maybe a stretch? Maybe a tune?
Where have you been overlooking the intuition in your life? When is the last time you trusted and were pleasantly surprised by the result? Maybe you just said something that you weren't completely sure you should say and it ended up turning the situation completely around for you? Maybe you just enjoyed that day off as it came instead of planning it all out first and it ended up being an awesome experience? Maybe you said "no" and avoided a huge set back, or said "yes" and achieved a great success? Maybe you just threw something not called for into that dish you were making and it turned out spectacularly delicious? Maybe you resisted the expectation to control something and it all worked out for the best? Maybe you accepted? Maybe you trusted? Maybe you followed your heart? Maybe you recognized how connected you are? Maybe you allowed yourself to just BE without questioning what was unfolding as it did...
We are all intuitive! I don't really think it's the trait itself we must learn; however, it is one of those things we must learn to trust. It's not about having some super power to know what comes next; it's more about trusting yourself enough to just BE right now. Step back. Let the conscious chatter fall away and notice what is here for you in the present. Create the space within yourself to open. You do not need to go through everything you might know that will back up your decision... Instead, just trust in the inner knowing of your experience. Be willing to recognize the guidance as it comes without questioning. And when you're not sure you hear it... be willing to ask for clarification and be willing to wait until it comes. It is always there for you! Trust that.