Do you freak out when things go unexpectedly in a not so favorable way? When you don't have the thing you need to do that thing you wanted or were asked to do? When 3 other things pop up and you don't even have the time to do it? When a customer, client, friend, or boss asks you for something that just seems impossible with the resources you have? When a challenge seems too big for you to handle with what you have? When you don't even know where to begin and don't even feel like it should be your responsibility to do it? When it just seems like too much? No worries, you are not alone.
I may be a bit firm, but I do totally understand those feelings, and rest assured, firmness is kind of what we need to get clarity here. All of these thoughts and feelings are just a bunch of negative bull$%^&! All stemming from the fear of not having enough, being enough, or knowing enough to meet the demands of the situation. Let me explain.
There are 3 effective steps to release this frustration and claim your power to transform it!
1. Step back and let go of what anyone else is doing or not doing and anything you do not think you have.
2. Focus on you and what you DO have right now.
3. Improvise and do what you can!
Where did I learn this and how can it be that simple? I learned this working in a kitchen and from there I have learned to apply it in all aspects of my life. Not right away of course. A kitchen is a high stress work environment... there are a lot of demands, there is a limited time frame, and there is a lot of running out and unexpected curve balls. In the beginning, there were many occasions where I wasn't sure if I could pull something off, but I didn't let it stop me from trying, and somehow I always managed. I focused on the desired outcome (happy diners), what I did have (skill, help, ingredients, etc), and how I could best use what I had to take a step toward said outcome, even if that strayed a bit from the original plan. Not everyone responds that way under pressure and I definitely get that... because there are a lot of other areas of my life in which I was not so quick to rise!
A lot of people spend a lot of time bitching when things go wrong. (And no, I am not innocent.) Saying out loud, "How am I supposed to do this?" "They ALWAYS expect me to do everything!" "I CAN'T make risotto without arborio" (or whatever the challenge) "I don't have anything I need for that!" "That's impossible!" "Why do they always leave that to me?" "This is ridiculous" ... grumble... grumble... bitch... bitch... this and that about last time and yesterday and last week and whatever can be rolled into the dissatisfaction of the moment, compounding it and inflating it more and more.
This doesn't solve anything! In fact, it wastes the energy you do have to improve the situation. I've watched so many people get sucked into this downward spiral (often standing still the entire time) in the kitchen environment and the more frustrated they feel the more to s$#@ everything goes... things get dropped, time runs out, tickets get missed, complaints roll in... etc... etc... which only makes them believe in their own inadequacy even more!
To be completely honest, as a chef, this always annoyed the hell out of me and I may have been a bit judgmental about it at times. However, while I may have had a natural knack for maintaining my composure and improvising in the kitchen, over time, I was eventually humbled by the recognition that I was caught in that same negative cycle when it came to other areas of my life. So I began expanding and employing the same tactics elsewhere!
When I don't think I have what I need, whether that be a specific ingredient, a specific dollar amount, a specific skill, or a specific tool, or kind of support, I look at what I do have. What resources are available to me right now? What do I have, or what can I easily get to take the next step forward? How can I use the skills I have to move through this? What help is available to me that I can ask for? Drop the whys. Stop the grumbling. And focus on the what you can do right now! You may not end up with the exact outcome that you expected but I've discovered that it generally ends up equal to, if not better than, what I planned.
There are no rules! Plans and processes are adaptable! Don't not serve the pie just because you don't have the "right" plate to put it on, or not make the curry just because you're out of a spice... Don't not finish the project, just because you skipped one of the steps (oops!) or don't have one of the materials (yikes!). Don't not build the life you want, just because you don't think you have the money or the time to fund it. Don't not pursue your passion, just because you don't think you have the talent or skill. Don't not give it your best, just because you don't think it's good enough!
Use what you have to do what you can and you will grow into MORE! More success, more abundance, more passion, more happiness! Who doesn't want to create more of that?