Do you ever find yourself on the verge of something really great, and you can literally FEEL yourself closing? The muscles get tight... the arms clench in... you struggle to contain the excitement...like your'e afraid to let it out... the mind seems to sway into a little bit of apprehension or even full blown fear? It's like going up the hill of a roller coaster. Most of us have done that, right? The tracks click and the car tilts back as you go up and you know you are going to have a thrill on the way down, but right as you get to the top, as you slow up and feel the tug to get over that curve, you brace yourself for the fall? Maybe even contemplate what could go wrong on the way down? It's a natural thing. It happens. Some of us might actually jump out at that point if it was possible! Which is why this programming get in our way when we are on the ground!
We do this same thing in all different areas of our lives. It could be in your profession, or in your self expression, or in your ability to just have fun, or in your relationships, or even in your sex life! Maybe your are an artist or writer who suddenly gets terrified of a blank page, or maybe you have a tendency to run from a relationship as soon as it gets real, or maybe you won't let yourself speak up or out, or maybe you avoid going for that promotion you deserve, or maybe you get too caught up in all the worries of crap you feel you have to do to really enjoy being in this moment right now. What is this and why does it get in our way?
We see something that we expect to enjoy and yet we are somehow afraid to let ourselves experience it? Sometimes we may keep going anyway. Other times, we talk ourselves out of it. We tell ourselves it's too much work, or it won't last, or it's not worth it, or we don't deserve it, or there are too many risks involved, or it won't be as good as we expect, or any other of the drawbacks we may invent for ourselves to avoid the loss we risk by allowing ourselves to have it in the first place. Or we just run screaming in the opposite direction!
Think about it. Where have you done this in your life? I guarantee you, there IS somewhere that this affects you. Whether it means you swallow your words, or resist a deeper connection, or miss an opportunity, or aim low, or get yourself stuck, or simply forego a momentary thrill... or any combination of these things... it's a problem and it comes up at times for all of us. Just so you know, this is a natural occurrence. There's nothing wrong with you! The primary function of the subconscious mind is to keep you safe. It's basic program doesn't account for the all the possibilities that a perceived risk may come with.
Did you know that our bodies process both fear and excitement in exactly the same way? It's no wonder apprehension is a thing! Because of this literally ANYTHING we perceive as exciting will also have a tendency to be perceived as a risk! The difference between excitement and fear is only in the mental perception of the experience. Both of these emotions effect the kidneys and adrenal glands. Both produce adrenaline. The brain chooses how to process and respond to these physical effects. Sometimes, it's confusing! Often times we shift between the two emotions and the wavering itself is highly uncomfortable... this is kind of what anticipation or apprehension is... a nervous excitement... the indecision between excitement and fear. Sometimes we get caught up in the things that could go wrong.. Sometimes we get overly attached to the happiness we expect to get and are afraid of how we might lose it before we even get to it! Sometimes the expectation leading up to something leads to a pressure that just feels too high to meet! Other times, we simply step into it, open our arms, and embrace the thrill of the ride. Which time is this going to be for you?
The good news is, knowing this process, can help you to choose how you respond to it!
How can you let yourself step into the thrill? I think it all goes back to that roller coaster. The first time you rode one, you were probably terrified. Now a days, you may be one who just throws up your arms and embraces the fall! You've learned to trust in the joy of the experience. You've learned to trust that it will be okay. You know that it's given you joy in the past, and you can now more easily move into that. You can do this in life as well!
A key to remember: happiness is fleeting. So yes, that promotion or that expression or that orgasm may not lead to a lasting joy. It may not even be as wonderful as you expect. That doesn't mean it's not worth experiencing. And yes, you deserve that happiness whenever and wherever it may come. Finding the deeper truth of your own ability to live through both the incline and the fall and accept the growth through both experiences, will help you find a deeper sense of joy with the entire process. Joy is lasting. It is an acceptance of the bigger picture. We tend to get attached to that moment of happiness, and we fear the passing, which sometimes prevents us from even allowing the occurrence. Think about all the experiences you have lived through thus far, and how much you have grown through them. Accept that process. Allow it. It's how we grow. It's how we learn. Moving through the rise and fall.
Whenever you feel yourself getting tight, step back, take a deep breath, and make the conscious choice to open! Simple, but powerful! And if you find yourself really resistant, just DO it anyway! Put aside the risks and focus on the possibility! Think about that roller coaster! Remember the hump is always a little uncomfortable... but you always get through. Pretend you are 300 ft above ground and there are no doors available if you need to! Take the leap! You got this!
The more you do it, the easier it will get!
The most important thing here, is to recognize that you have the power to choose! You have the power to recognize where you are holding yourself back and step out of your own way! Fear can be easily shifted to excitement. Remember, it's a mental thing! If you are feeling anxious or afraid, ask yourself, "How can I shift this?" Make a list of all the positive possibilities that could come of whatever you are resisting, imagine them fully! Shift the focus! Open to whatever may come!
Throw those arms up!